Happy Birthday Mom

So I am dedicating this post to my mom, cheesy right? Well you haven't met mine. This coming Thursday is her Birthday and since I will be posting on Tuesday's I made this one for her.

My mom is the strongest most beautiful woman I know and I appreciate her deeply and, sometimes I don't think I tell her that enough. If I can become half the woman she is I'll be proud. For those of you who don't know I am half black (surprise) and Italian. My life identity wise was pretty confusing especially when I didn't actually realize I was brown till I was about 6. I'll never forget it a little girl asked me,"well why don't you look like your mom? And where's your dad? And how come your brown and your family isn't?" now imagine my surprise at the age of 6... but my mom she never let me feel like I was the odd ball out just because of the color of my skin. She's taught me to be caring, loving, open minded, responsible, kind, strong and brave. She's always put her whole life aside for me even when she was pregnant with me. Again, if you don't know me personally then you don't know that I was a HUGE secret to my family, so huge no one knew I was coming until I was actually born, another tough thing about my identity was the fact that my grandmother (who I love dearly) is very prejudice and old-fashioned so not only was my mom pregnant before being married but she was pregnant by a black man. So I was a secret until my mom went into labor on New Years and had to drive herself to the hospital, 4 days later the secret was out (yes my mom was basically in labor for 4 days) I was born and don't get me wrong my family loves and absolutely accepts me but I can't tell you how strong of a woman my mom is for that. Going through an entire pregnancy by herself and raising me all on her own I couldn't be luckier I have been truly blessed with an amazing mom. My mom's soul is so beautiful her aura radiates an entire room. The strength she posses is unreal, even when struggling she would never let me see it or anyone else for that matter and she's so damn smart always has a plan for something. I call her for any and everything because shes my best friend and I know for a fact she'll always have a plan.

So, I end this with a Happy Birthday (early birthday) to the most amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman I know, you inspire me to better everyday! And a of course a little snippet of one of my favorite  poems:
If I Should Have a Daughter by Sarah Kay

“Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”

But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

“Baby,” I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother

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